


the space between

by Cap_Sweet_And_Salty_Sadness



Series: Cullrian Tumblr Prompts [10]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dorian is Sad, Drunk Sex, Lyrium Withdrawal, M/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 10:51:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7681516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cap_Sweet_And_Salty_Sadness/pseuds/Cap_Sweet_And_Salty_Sadness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dorian knew that Cullen was more affected by his drinks because of his withdrawals, and now that his drink self was seeking the love his sober self yearned but always refused to allow himself. This was why he adventured a hand up Dorian’s thigh as the evening went on, why he gathered the courage to grab him by a buckle to kiss his breath away in a dark corner, why he eagerly followed Dorian back to his room, barely able to keep his hands to himself. </p><p>Dorian knew all of that, but did he care? No, not really, for only he was the same.</p><p>If Cullen wanted to fuck only when he was drunk, then so be it. Dorian would take what he could.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the space between

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story from two tumblr prompts, the first one being "I wish you would write a fic where Dorian fucks Cullen who is drunk (b/c lyrium woes), and everyone's about to go their separate ways, and the next morning Cullen doesn't remember (because lyrium woes) and Dorian knew it was a possibility--he knows while he's fucking the life out of Cullen that he might not remember, that he's only in Dorian's bed because he's drunk and lonely and scared and desperate to feel human and loved-- but acts like nothing's wrong even while his heart is breaking." and the second one "I'll be here to protect you". I was asked to write a happy ending to the first prompt because it was too angsty haha.
> 
> I'm [Captain Amoruca](http://captain-amoruca.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr.

“Is this alright?” Dorian asked again, two fingers deep in Cullen. He was probing them upwards, which was proving to be very effective as Cullen was moaning and bucking his hips into the mattress, a bit clumsily but still very present. They both were a bit drunk, Cullen more so than Dorian.

“Fuck yes. Come on already.”

Dorian tutted at the eagerness and bit his shoulder deep enough to leave a mark, loved the gasp it earned him. He removed his fingers from his hole and replaced them with his cock, muffling his moan in the crook of his neck when he sunk all the way in until his balls rested against Cullen’s firm ass. Cullen twisted his upper body and grabbed his hair so they could messily kiss, groaning into his mouth as Dorian began to move.

Dorian knew that Cullen was more affected by his drinks because of his withdrawals, and now that his drink self was seeking the love his sober self yearned but always refused to allow himself. This was why he adventured a hand up Dorian’s thigh as the evening went on, why he gathered the courage to grab him by a buckle to kiss his breath away in a dark corner, why he eagerly followed Dorian back to his room, barely able to keep his hands to himself.

Dorian knew all of that, but did he care? No, not really, for only he was the same.

If Cullen wanted to fuck only when he was drunk, then so be it. Dorian would take what he could.

“Harder,” Cullen panted, repeating the command until Dorian was pounding into his ass, pushing him down into the mattress. He couldn’t remember last time he’d fucked someone this hard, the bed protesting loudly with each of his thrusts. Cullen collected a pillow and bit into it to muffle his loud moans, their flesh slapping together faster and faster as Dorian approached his orgasm. He pulled out and spilled all over Cullen’s lower back, tugging at himself until he milked himself dry.

Cullen began to laugh drunkenly, and turned on his back without a care for the mess he was doing. He palmed his thick cock, still hard, and Dorian gave him a wicked grin before he leaned down.

 

When Dorian woke up, Cullen was gone. As it was expected. He groaned at his throbbing headache and prepared himself for breakfast very slowly, gulping down a few cups of water in the process.

When he entered the main hall, he was surprised to see Cullen was already there, nursing some tea. He sat beside him, contemplating if it would be appropriate to touch his thigh in secrecy, then decided against it.

“Good morning, Cullen.” He merely got a groan in response, which made him chuckle. “That bad, I see. Here.” He produced a potion dearly stashed for hangovers from a pocket that Cullen drank without a protest, not even asking him what it was.

“Thank you.” Cullen shifted, and the way his breath hitched would’ve gone almost unnoticed were it not for Dorian looking for those signs. “I drank too much last night, I apologize if I was a bad company. I cannot remember.”

“You cannot remember?” Dorian felt his heart sink, his face turning numb. He knew his drunk state had been tampered by his lyrium withdrawal, but he hadn’t imagined his memories would be affected as well. He could still feel Cullen’s lips against his own, kissing him as if he was the very air he needed to live; his moans and soft murmurs meant for him alone.

“Yes, well…” Cullen cleared his throat, the tip of his ears turning red. “Drinking isn’t in my habits, I hope I didn’t make a fool of myself.”

Dorian hid his deception in a few sips of the warm spicy tea he liked in the morning. Finally, he forced a smile, the mask he didn’t think he still needed around Cullen firmly back in place. “Nonsense.”

 

It was a hot Matrinalis day when Cullen found Dorian silently crying in the library, a week after he woke up with a part of the previous night missing from his memories but with sore places obvious enough to know what he had done. Dorian hadn’t been ignoring him per say, but he hadn’t been present for their two last regular meeting in the gardens to play chess, and he wanted to know why.

This was in no way right. Dorian hadn’t noticed him yet, dark stained tears streaming down his cheeks without any attempt at wiping them away as he was staring at the letter in his hands. Cullen looked around and found a clean cloth on a nearby table, probably forgotten by someone, before he made his way to the mage.

“Kaffas!” Dorian exclaimed once he saw him, then promptly tried to clean his face with his fingers, only for the kohl to smear all over his face.

“Here.” Cullen passed him the cloth and tried very hard to keep a reasonable distance while Dorian cleaned his face.

“Am I handsome again?” Dorian asked with a false lightness which Cullen saw through.

“You’re always handsome.”

Dorian blinked red-rimmed pale eyes at him, his lashes still wet, and said nothing.

“What’s wrong?” Cullen asked, his first reason for being here forgotten for the moment.

“What isn’t?” He took a shuddering breath, working his bottom lip for a moment. “I recently learnt my best friend was dead, and this morning the Inquisitor gave me this lovely letter.”

He showed it to Cullen who quickly read it, frowning at the end. “My sympathies for your friend. Your father…”

“Wants me back in Tevinter to make children. He doesn’t care that I’m in Skyhold to save the world, he worries his legacy won’t be continued. His  _fucking_  legacy.”

“Is he aware you prefer the company of men?”

“Of course he is, but as I said, do you think he cares?” Dorian gritted his teeth, so angry for a moment that he couldn’t bare to look at Cullen. He exhaled loudly. “I have to go to Redcliffe with Lavellan to settle this, pretend I don’t know about my father’s plans.”

“I’ll go with you and protect you if I must, even if I know you don’t need protecting.”

Dorian had a dry chuckle, but he glanced at Cullen with a soft expression. “The only person I need protection from is myself.”

“Don’t we all?” He cleared his throat, shifting a bit. He wasn’t wearing his armor that day because it was too hot, and he felt exposed for a moment as he organized his thoughts. “I… heard something from my soldiers earlier. The night I drunk myself into oblivion, they said I had a wild night with someone…”

That’s when he saw it. A faint purple mark on Dorian’s neck, barely visible above his collar.

“Who did this to you?” He asked, painfully aware Dorian was in no way entitled to answer his blunt inquiry.

Dorian sighed, visibly annoyed, and attempted to burrow himself further in his seat. “It’s of no importance.”

“Yes it is. Dorian.” Cullen crouched in front of him, grasping his hands. Dorian was surprised and meant to remove them, but Cullen was having none of it. “We slept together that night, didn’t we?”

Anger flashed in Dorian’s stormy eyes. “If we fucked, you mean? Yes we did.”

“Then I forgot everything… By the Maker, Dorian, I’m so sorry.” Cullen wrapped Dorian in his arms, hugging him with all the warmth and tenderness he could muster. After a moment of stillness, Dorian slumped against him with a sigh, burrowing his face in his neck and hugging him back tightly.

“How could you possibly have known?”

“It doesn’t excuse the fact I hurt your feelings.” Cullen rested his cheek against Dorian’s hair, taking in his perfume, and that alone made memories stir; velvet voice moaning in his ear, hips pressing behind him… “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought it wouldn’t matter.”

“What?” Cullen looked up at him with a stern expression. 

“Of course you matter, you silly man.” He just had to lean up a bit to claim his mouth in a kiss, the feel of his soft lips and his tickling moustache making him moan. Oh yes, he remembered those lips, before hungry and demanding and now wielding and following against his own ones.

“I wish I had made it clear sooner,” he managed to say before Dorian was kissing him, this time deeper. He was almost in Cullen’s lap, leaning at the end of his chair so he could press as much of himself against Cullen. His hands fell on Cullen’s broad shoulders, then down his back and up again, touching him everywhere. His kisses turned tender and sweet, his tongue meeting Cullen’s in lazy strokes, his nose bumping into Cullen’s cheek. They separated in order to breathe, and Dorian smiled with soft contentment.

“So you want to accompany me to Redcliffe?”

“Anywhere you want.”


End file.
